Question:
My girlfriend made me read your website and I agree I'm
borderline. She said if I don't take medicine she's
going to leave me. I know I get really angry, but I
only hit her twice and she was really yelling at me and
hit me the first time. I love her and I think I'll die
without her. It's really unfair. I feel taking
medicine is a crutch and I'm against it. I want her to
accept me for who I am, not being a zombie from drugs.
Besides marijuana really relaxes me and makes me better
so I don't need to take drugs. Can't a BPD just use
marijuana and be accepted for who we are?
Dr. Heller's Answer:
1) You have the right to stay the way you are and not
change. Like everything else in life you have to
balance the benefits against the costs. You likely have
an anger problem that's going to get you into
significant legal trouble. The courts generally rule
that violent mentally ill people who refuse treatment
need to be kept away from the general population. If
you have the BPD, you become psychotic under stress and
the rage can get out of control. I've dealt with a few
murder cases that were very similar to yours. The
disorder will cause problems with work/career, friends
and love relationships. It's also unlikely that your
girlfriend will stay with you permanently with the anger
and mood swings. She'll likely eventually get into some
counseling and figure out that it's not safe or
appropriate to stay with a violent or hostile mate (it's
possible she needs medical treatment as well). What
benefits do you see for yourself staying untreated?
2) Many BPD patients believe marijuana "relaxes" them.
It's highly illegal and can result in jail time and a
permanent criminal record. It also causes weight gain,
lung disease when smoked, and can result in a lack of
motivation. If scared while under the influence of
marijuana, borderlines can become extremely psychotic.
3) The medications to treat the BPD are mostly generic
and inexpensive. They're also considerably safer than
not treating the disorder or taking marijuana. I
recommend to my BPD patients who resist medication that
they should try the right dose and compare how you feel
on the medications compared to off them. The
medications should not cause you feeling like a "zombie"
- although marijuana certainly can.
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