Question:
I'm in my first month of my therapeutic community
here in England, I can see the benefits of being
here already, I'm so much calmer after just four
weeks. In your expert opinion what is the best way
to 'heal the abandonment wound?' I have seen
various books on the Internet but am unsure which
way to turn? Kind regards.
Dr. Heller's Answer:
As children we depend on a consistent loving
environment in order to grow healthy. Newborns
deprived of love can literally die of love
starvation. When abandonment issues are a problem,
they usually become "hard wired" in the brain,
making them even more difficult to overcome.
Counseling is always a good idea in this regard.
Learning to change the way you think and feel about
yourself and your worthiness is crucial. The
affirmations, books and tapes all help this.
The right medications make all the difference in the
world.
The key however is a spiritual one. When you
understand and "know" that your pain and suffering
weren't a punishment or a mistake, it's a lot easier
to overcome those hurts. I have found that love,
forgiveness and spirituality are the only solutions.
I frequently recommend listening to Wayne Dyer's
tape "101 Ways to Transform Your Life."
There are many books I recommend in this regard as
well:
1) "Embraced By the Light" by Betty Eadie
2) "The Other Side and Back" by Sylvia Browne -
ignore the predictions at the end.
3) "Journey of Souls" By Michael Duff Newton
4) "Where God Lives" by Dr. Melvin Morse
5) "Many Lives, Many Masters" by Dr. Brian Weiss
6) "Happiness is a Choice" by Barry Neil Kaufman
7) "Messages from the Masters" by Dr. Brian Weiss
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