Question:
Dear Dr. Heller,
We are parents of an adult child (25)
that we feel definitely exhibits the symptoms of BPD.
We have been trying to educate ourselves and seeking
out support groups in our geographic area (Cleveland,
Ohio). We really do not know of a specific incident,
traumatic event, environmental cause, or any other
major event in our daughter's life that would
contribute to her BPD personality disorder. I am only
able think of the ADD association that may have
triggered this or a biological predisposition.
The
problem of dealing effectively with BPD is also being
compounded by a severe alcohol addiction. I think the
biggest problem we are having is trying to react to
both of these issues and trying to be helpful and not
hurtful but realizing with the alcohol constantly
present we are not even able to address the issues of
BPD.
We have been seeing a alcohol counselor, have
attended family sessions associated with 3 different
rehabilitation facilities, go to Alanon meetings,
devouring any information we can on BPD and we still
aren't sure how to handle the "big picture" as we keep
being told that you must get rid of the alcohol
addiction before you can possibly treat the mental
disorder. We are finding that rather contradictory
since the alcohol addiction information seems to make
us want to let her figure it out on her own and not
enable, but the message to help with BPD seems to be
get involved more in helping them.
We are looking for
any information that could help us to be instrumental
in her seeking help. I do not think she has ever
continued on any course long enough to have it be of
any help to her. I know this is another problem in the
world of BPD and I don't know how we could help with
this.
I'm sure I am just hitting the tip of the
iceberg but I guess to sum it up , we are looking for
help and direction to help her and ourselves. We would
appreciate any input you may have.
P.S.: I apologize for
the rather unorganized fashion in which I presented my
information and insights. I guess my confusion on this
matter has definitely invaded my own usually organized
thought processes. Thanks for taking the time to read
this and hopefully responding.
Dr. Heller's Answer:
Many addiction specialists advise treating the
substance problems first and then the BPD. I disagree
very strongly because most treat their BPD symptoms
with something that works for their dysphoria, no
matter how self-destructive. I’ve treated countless
borderlines who failed AA and treatment programs for
this reason. Treating the BPD is no guarantee that the
alcoholic will stop drinking, but it dramatically
improves their chances. Making all the medically
treatable diagnoses and treating them comprehensively
remains crucial, that’s why I always have my patients
do the screening test:
(http://www.BiologicalUnhappiness.com/screen.htm).
Getting an individual with the BPD to seek help is
virtually always a challenge. It helps to understand
that they are hurting and that the disease it not
their fault. This is often of help:
http://www.BiologicalUnhappiness.com/AskDoc/q1.htm).
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