Question:
My girlfriend is suffering from
borderline personality disorder. We both
believe it was induced by her abuse of
stimulants for two years straight a few years
ago. Before that, her life was considerably
more stable. I read that there is a
syndrome like BPD that is induced by drug
abuse.
My current problem is this: She was previously
involved in an off-and-on relationship where
she was psychologically addicted to an abusive
man who lies, cheats, etc. During our
relationship she has gone back and forth to
him several times, been caught at it, and
finally appears to have ended it. After
her final bout with him she went to the
opposite extreme, telling me she wants to
marry me and asking me to move in with her, and
foolishly I moved in with her knowing she
would have the same cyclical reaction I have seen
in her when I spend too much time with
her. Suddenly I disgust her and she
wants "space" and wants me to move
out after I've already blown all my money on
rent and bills with her.
She has done something similar to this
before, so I fully expected it, but I still don't
know what to do. At my urging she has
recently started DBT and should have a
psychiatrist soon who I hope will prescribe
meds for her.
Her mother is a doctor who has previously supplied
her with Wellbutrin to help her stop smoking, which
it definitely did not do. I have read about
some side effects of Wellbutrin, and have seen
some of those side effects in her, and I am concerned.
Within the next week I'm afraid I'll have to
find somewhere else to live, but I'm hoping that
when her meds change she may change also.
I have read Stop Walking on Eggshells, Life at
the Border, Borderline Personality Disorder
Demystified, I Hate You, Don't Leave Me,
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in the Treatment
of Borderline Personality Disorder, and various
other books on the subject, as well as
online resources, but I still don't feel
that I have all the answers.
She doesn't really see that her current way
of looking at me is part of her mood swings. It's
like she's lost in them, and every time seems to
believe that's just the way she feels, as if
it's not going to change again, but I've been
observing this cycle for so long that I know
she will love me again. It's so frustrating.
Can you offer any tips? It's taking a toll on me.
Dr. Heller's Answer:
The BPD generally starts at puberty. If
you are correct, and the symptoms were not present
prior to the abuse of stimulants a few years
ago, something else is likely to blame and not the
BPD.
One of the hallmarks of the BPD is the persistence
of symptoms. You wrote the she was "considerably
more stable" -- which is not the same as
writing that she was stable prior to the stimulant use.
A key determining factor for the BPD is whether
the symptoms have been present since the onset
of adolescence. If she does indeed have the
BPD, the right medications will make a huge
difference, and as always she'll need to be
evaluated and treated for comorbid diagnoses
like ADHD, bipolar, GAD, OCD and OCPD.
There are occasional stories of individuals
getting the BPD from massive head injuries, but
I've never seen in person or read any reports of
anyone with no BPD symptoms suddenly developing
the BPD from stimulant abuse.
If indeed there were no BPD symptoms prior to
the stimulant abuse, she may have developed
toxic psychosis or something similar from the
stimulant abuse, which could have resulted in a
rapidly cycling bipolar phenomenon, possibly
even schizoaffective disorder. Getting
the correct diagnoses is crucial so the proper
medications can be prescribed.
You will likely benefit from counseling yourself.
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