Question:
Hello, Dr. Heller
My ex-wife has not been diagnosed as BPD. But
in my honest opinion, she has all the symptoms. She
was molested by her step-father and she has been
in abusive relationships. I think that her
step-father is the father of her eldest child.
In your readings, it seems to me that you really
believe that BPD is more of an chemical imbalance than
an emotional...
I have two questions: what is
emotional pain and what is dysphoria? I am just
trying to figure out what kind of pain she is
in beause she has pulled her hair out!!
Dr. Heller's Answer:
Anything that hurts emotionally causes
emotional pain. We all experience
emotional pain in our lives. Examples
include disappointment, feeling ignored or
devalued, regretful, jealous, lonely,
embarrassed, envious, disgusted,
discouraged, annoyed, weakness, vulnerability,
powerlessness, hurt, fear, etc. How we
handle emotional pain usually defines us as
human beings. If we take it out on others
we become abusive. If we numb it with
substances we become addicts. If we
learn to feel the feeling, learn from it and
let it pass or develop a spiritual defense
system for it we become resilient.
That said, it's important to understand that
there really isn't a difference between
"emotional pain" and
"physical pain." The brain interprets
them both similarly.
BPD dysphoria (anxiety, rage, depression and
despair) is much more than that. It's a
seizure disorder (nerve cells firing
inappropriately and out of control) in the
brain's trapped, cornered, wounded animal
instinctual centers - likely in the limbic
system. They become psychotic and
usually paranoid, misinterpreting reality
and acting as if those around them are trying
to hurt them. They will usually do
almost anything to stop their pain, from
self mutilation, to self destructive behaviors
such as binge spending, binge eating and
pulling out their hair.
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