Dear Dr. Heller,
I realize you may get thousands of letters daily with questions about this disorder. This letter will probably not be the last but I am at my wits end and need answers as well as guidance. I have a 13 year old Daughter who is currently in a girls home here in Virginia. Autumn was placed there after countless hospital stays (again with no answers to what was wrong) and countless hours of her and I going at it with full blown anger and spite. Her school finally placed a CHINS (sp) petition on her after she spent every single school hour in the counseling office, smoked in school, brought a knife to school threatening to kill herself, and putting numerous holes in her body for piercing, and cutting her arms up so much that she now has scars all over them.
She has no real friends...none she can keep anyway...she pushes people away and yet wants them as close as she can get them..she feels unworthy...she does not think she is worth anything...she manipulates every single situation to fit her no matter what...she acts on every thought that comes in her head no matter what (perfect example...a year ago she decided to take my car for a joy ride at 3:00 in the morning only to be pulled over by the cops and brought home).....she thinks that she has to have a boyfriend to be worth something she has already had sex at age 11 (again she is now 13).
The more I have read on BPD the more I am convinced this is the problem my daughter faces on a daily basis.....yet I was just told on Monday and I quote his words..."Ms. Elixson, I have been treating Autumn for ADD and Bipolar disorder but I feel I am missing something, she has been here since November and I have not seen any change in her, granted for now she has stopped the self- mutilation but currently no change in attitude...I just hope that we are not dealing with a child that has borderline personality disorder."
Dr. Heller, I have read what you have posted on the Internet, I am currently gathering books to understand more about this.....if this is what my daughter has then why is her current Doctor so afraid of it? My child is crying out for help...on good days she is a joy to be around and she is very smart....but I fear that all these hospital stays and clinics and foster homes are drowning her...and I am afraid that I will soon lose my daughter to some place so dark and so untouchable that I will never get her back I don't want to see that happen I want my daughter to have some kind of healthy life before it is too late.
Just to give you some background.....I myself have been diagnosed as having Cyclothymia....sometimes, considering my life in the past with my own relationships and life today, I wonder if BPD is not in me as well. I don't know what you can do for us or what you can tell me but all I know is that I am to have a meeting with her doctors on the 15th of August to discuss treatment possibilities, placement possibilities and whatnot...then we go back to court on the 21st for a judge to make his final decision ....I want to go to this meeting with every possible option I can think of...my problem is I can't help fix what I don't know for sure is wrong....I am hoping in some way you can help.
Thank you for your time,
[Dr. Heller's answer is forthcoming. Please be patient and check back later.]