QUESTION:
Dear Dr. Heller,
I have a lack of confidence because I feel I am ugly. This leaves me feeling very unhappy. How do I bolster my confidence?
ANSWER:
I would look at the
screening test to see if any medical
problems exist that need to be treated. If you're depressed it should be treated as
well.
Our feelings come from our thoughts, and our thoughts come from our beliefs. This seems
simple but it's very important. You don't "feel" you're ugly, you
believe you are. That belief leads you to thoughts that you are unattractive, and feelings
of unhappiness, sadness, frustration, etc.
There are things you can do.....
1) The
retraining the brain section in my
website and particularly in "Biological Unhappiness" discussed this at length.
2) Do the affirmations at the end of the above section. Place your name
at the top, and read it out loud every morning and night for 30 days
3) Get into counseling.
4) Volunteer your time to help other people - nothing will improve your
self-image faster or more convincingly than having others appreciate you.
5) Look at what you can do for yourself physically - dress better,
posture, smiling, lose weight if you're overweight, start exercising every day (even
a walk is fine).
