What Are The Signs Of Passive-Aggressive Behavior?

QUESTION:

Dear Dr. Heller,

I have a new in-law whom I believe has passive-aggressive behavior.  Could you please tell me basic symptoms to look for?  I'm trying to determine the difference between this disorder and simply being a "sweet, manipulative" person who has everyone thinking she is so nice.  Thank you.

ANSWER:

The passive aggressive personality disorder was an official diagnosis in the DSM-IIIR, but was not included in the DSM IV.  The major symptoms include:

1. Procrastinating. 
2. Avoiding responsibility:
   1. Becoming sulky, irritability or argumentative when asked to do something he/she doesn't want to do;
   2. Working deliberately slowly or does a bad job on tasks he/she doesn't want to do;
   3. Avoids obligations by claiming to have "forgotten;" or,
   4. Obstructs the efforts of others by failing to do his/her share of the work.
3. Protests - without justification - that others make unreasonable demands. 
4. Believes he/she is doing a better job than others think he/she is doing. 
5. Resents constructive criticism. 
6. Unreasonably criticizes or scorns people in positions of authority.

While it may have a neurological basis, passive aggressive people seem to be extremely angry and are seeking revenge by their behavior.

People with the passive aggressive disorder may be nice or difficult.  "Sweet, manipulative"...  implies more is going on than just passive aggressiveness.