QUESTION:
Dear Dr. Heller,
Can you explain what splitting is in a person who has borderline personality disorder. I think my husband and his family have this and have been doing this for many many years, and now I am working with someone who has this.
ANSWER:
There are actually many different definitions. One is keeping pleasant
thoughts/sensations away from unpleasant ones.
The more commonly used one is based on relationships - particularly with therapists and
loved ones. DSM IV criteria 2 is a pattern of intense unstable relationships alternating
between extremes of devaluation and over-valuation. If an individual with BPD is
devaluating someone, he/she can say negative remarks about that person to someone else.
Later on the cycle develops the other way, with positive remarks about that person and
negative remarks about the person he/she felt good about earlier. Because these feelings
are so intense they become very believable and hard feelings can develop between all
involved.
