QUESTION:
Dr. Heller,
I was wondering if you could recommend a book, or actually any info on this topic. I believe that I have these multiple personalities and the person I'm in a relationship also has it, she has been diagnosed?, if possible, and I know that she has been attending therapy for it. Is it possible for us to have a healthy relationship?
ANSWER:
I honestly don't know, although the odds aren't good. Everyone I've ever known
with DID (f.k.a. multiple personalities) also had the BPD, so that is another
issue. The topics I discuss in my books and Website, particularly the FAQ ask the
doctor section will give you a lot of information.
The reason I'm relatively pessimistic is that one thing an individual with DID needs is a
SAFE environment. They absolutely, positively need to be in a safe and consistent
environment. With two people misinterpreting and over-reacting, going in and out of
other personalities, and possibly having rage problems, I think the chances of a DID/DID
relationship succeeding are not good.
A lot depends on how motivated both people are. If all the diagnoses are made and
treated, and both parties devote an enormous amount of time and energy towards learning to
have a healthy relationship and to virtually obsess about it I could see how this type of
a relationship could work. Clearly they would both understand each other better and
be tolerant of each other. I cannot overemphasize the importance of mastering the
principles of success and happiness, as well as mastering as needed medications.