QUESTION:
Dear Dr. Heller,
I have BPD, along with a bunch of other stuff. I have one "symptom" that I can't really seem to fit into any of my diagnosis. That being jealousy. I have fits of obsessive jealousy that sometimes will last for days (a few times even weeks) at a time. This can be jealousy of someone I love or jealousy of someone I see walking down the street. I become obsessive and self destructive over it, ranging from self mutilation to hysterical fits to starving myself for days (not anorexic behavior, but refusal to consume any food at all for periods of time). Is this a form of OCD? That is the closest thing I have been reading about, though I don't perform any strange rituals like hand washing or anything (aside from certain eating habits)? Please advise.
ANSWER:
Jealousy comes from fear of loss, including betrayal. It's largely a sign of
self-esteem problems. The sensation of jealousy, like anger, can come out and help
you "feel" strong instead of weak and vulnerable.
It could be an obsession, but it's most likely a profound defense. If you do have
the BPD, I think you'd find that treating all the diagnoses and having a medication plan
for stress - including jealousy - would be very helpful. The dysphoria instruction
sheet I use for my patients is
available here.