Q. I recently took a vacation (much needed) with my husband. While in Atlantic City, I experienced the worse attack ever. I completely (as my husband says) flipped out.
I have been diagnosed with severe depression, fibromyalgia, and a severe nervous condition. I am on 300mg serzone at night, .25 mg xanax twice a day, ultram for the pain, lorcet for extreme pain. I am also codependent. I just can't stop saying "I am sorry" for everything and anything that happens. I am sooooo depressed I can't stand myself and just wish daily that I could die and save myself and my family the pain I cause. I am also an alcoholic. I have done fairly well since last April. I spent a week at Charter Ridge and felt pretty good when I left. But when got back to the daily grind, I fell apart. I drank last night for the first time and now feel like hiding the rest of the day so as not to face my daughter. I am sooo ashamed.
I panic when I have to go somewhere and can't handle that feeling. I also don't want to do anything anymore. I just don't know what to do anymore. When I tell my family how bad I hurt from the fibromyalgia, they just roll their eyes at me. (really feels great) :(
Any insight into my problems would be appreciated. I just want to leave this earth peacefully or find some kind of help. Thank you in advance.
I also have a twin sister with the same problems
A. To me, the biggest problem here is that all your diagnoses aren't established. Most fibromyalgia patients have the generalized anxiety disorder. You likely have a biologically based rejection sensitivity as well. Your alcohol is a problem also, of course, and I congratulate you on your sobriety.
It's important to know that you can have a very impressive recovery, happy, sober, and successful in every important area of life. It requires courage and determination on your part. The medical basis is getting all the diagnoses and medical treatments right, combined with counseling and brain retraining. In the short run, the best thing you can do is get Zig Ziglar's "How to Stay Motivated" tape package and start listening over, and over, and over again.
They can be ordered at 1-800-527-0306. Neither this website nor Dr. Heller has any financial interest in Zig Ziglar or his tapes. They are recommended for one simple reason - they work.