Q. The first time I had sex with my girlfriend, I wasn't able to maintain an erection. I understand this is common for the first time. When we broke up after 2 years, I was getting intimate with another girl and I wasn't able to maintain an erection. Is this because I was thinking about not being able to get an erection and what can I do to not be so nervous about it?
A. Almost certainly it's fear. If you and your girlfriend were alone in a cave and a hungry bear walked into the cave, your survival mechanisms would gear up to survive - not have sex. Anxiety is the physical sensation you get when the body perceives a threat. Sex becomes a low priority for the body when it perceives a threat is present.