Q. I have a 33 year old sister that has been diagnosed with BPD by a court counselor, and in the past had been diagnosed as having ASPD by another therapist. I do not know what her current therapist says. She is being forced to go to counseling by the courts, but really does not think she has a problem... everyone else does (courts, family, etc.) . 11 years of substance abuse (meth) goes along with the BPD. As far are the systems... she fits the systems of both diagnosis.

She has a two-year old daughter, of whom I have guardianship. She loves her daughter, but expects the child to be perfect. She thinks she is a perfect mother .. because I believe that is the one positive thing in her life. However, the instability of life harms her daughter. Her life is a roller coaster. I am very concerned about the child's emotional well being in the

My questions are:

• If she goes untreated, what harm will the BPD have on her child?
• What advice do you have for trying to help my sister, who is so very far into denial and angry all them time?
• What advice do you have for family members treatment, when my sister refuses to go to family counseling?

A. One cannot predict the exact harm someone doing so poorly can have on a child, but your concerns seem valid ones.

I often recommend showing the loved one a copy of my book's front cover - available for downloading from this website.

The single best thing you can do is get counseling for yourself and other family members. It can help you sort out your feelings, find out what attitudes and behaviors are healthy, learn to avoid enabling behaviors, and come up with a strategy for dealing with her.

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