Q. My question is, how do you keep yourself safe from a child who tends to make false allegations of abuse against a parent? She is seeing a counselor at the present time. Her father and I are seeing the same counselor. She was away at school last year and just completed her first year of college and is now back in the house against the better judgment of the Psychologist we are seeing. He keeps saying we need to keep ourselves safe. My husband and I are at a loss as to what we should do. Having her move out is not an option. Maybe next summer it will be different but for now she is here and we love her and need some help.
A. Your therapist sounds wise. Your daughter may genuinely need you in the future, and the further the distance grows between you now the harder it will be in the future.
There are many ways to help your child without injuring yourselves and your reputations. Arranging for her to live by herself, even if you pay for it, may be an option. If your daughter has the BPD, printing the cover of my book from this website and leaving it on the coffee table for her to read without you pushing her may be of some use. Many individuals have found this successful in getting loved ones to pursue help. Sometimes it can backfire, however. You need to use your own judgment.
If she does have the BPD, and it goes untreated, her life will likely become significantly worse, and when she is ready for you to help her she may resist because you didn't inform her of this possibility.