Q. I am 19 yrs. old, heavily dependent on intense emotional feelings in the need to feel that I’m alive. I am really very confuse about this. Times and times again, I will feel very depressed to the point of abusing medication to make myself go to sleep or cut myself to feel out of it, and yet when times when I feel normal, I will sometimes provoke it to come back. Been in a intense n short relationship some time back. I have the need to meet new people all the time, but when they get too close, I’ll shut them down. I feel this constant fear that people I’ve know will just all leave me all the same. I get attached to people easily, but not emotionally. Recently, I get suicide ideals so often. I cried too often. I have alot of problems with my school. I really want my boyfriend back but these emotional turmoil’s, they hold me back all the time. and now, I have practically push everyone(friends) out of my life. I just can't stand it. if they are going to leave me or used some stupid excuses to throw me away. One of my friends suggested that I see a doctor when I called them up one night after talking 25 pills. I feel scared if anyone is going to think that I’m mad.
A. You are clearly in need of help, and what others think of you is not the issue. Life is not meant to be this much of a struggle.
Assuming you have the BPD - which I don't know - you will see a huge difference with the right medications. You also need counseling when the medications are working.