QUESTION:
Dear Dr. Heller,
My wife is currently 30 years old. She was raped when she was approximately 20. She has never sought or received professional counseling for this incident. She contracted herpes from the situation as well. I have often asked her questions about the incident. She would get defensive and refuse to talk about the situation. Additionally, she suffered a bout with mental illness and a nervous breakdown in her early twenties. I met her at this point in life. She was 24. She stopped taking Prozac, because it made her sick, and never went back to the doctor. She has questioned my knowledge about St. John's Wort, as well as asking me about suicidal thoughts.
Our relationship has been like a roller coaster ride. She is in denial about needing help regarding her rape. She has stated that she does not have any issues with her mental well-being. She has blamed me for being mean, simply because I yell at her when I'm angry or say mean things. I have never harmed her physically.
We have had sexual problems. We are currently involved in a divorce. She says that she doesn't love me at all. I find that hard to grasp of course, but I am wondering if these aforementioned situations have a grave impact on her future. I am not a doctor, but I think that something exists, either with her rape, or her mental well-being. How can a person tell you one day that you are their soulmate, and then the next - and I almost literally mean next, tell you that you are mean and a lousy father. Can you please shed some insight?
Thank you.
ANSWER:
It's extremely important to know her underlying diagnoses before the rape
occurred, since these likely worsened from the rape. You're describing the BPD, which
needs medical treatment. Prozac is a key medication, and if it makes her worse she almost
certainly has the generalized anxiety disorder which needs to be treated with BuSpar. St.
John's Wort is not a good choice.
Take a good look at the entire
BPD section and the
FAQ section
, particularly
this page.
