QUESTION:
Dear Dr. Heller,
The reason I am writing to you is because I need help. Ever since I can remember I hear my parents telling me "Don't lie, it doesn't get you anywhere in life". Now it is just something that I do that I don't have any control over at all. I have a normal life. My mom is a teacher, my dad works in a factory I am a typical teenager. When I was younger I was told I was bipolar and I took medicine for some time. I am off it now. I never realized that I was a "pathological liar" until my senior year of high school when I realized all my best friends had kind of slipped away. I would lie about the stupidest things that didn't even need to be lied about. I don't know what to do. I want it to stop.
Do you have any suggestions on what I could do? I have been to a psychologist ever since I can remember, for numerous reasons. At a young age I was molested by a babysitter. My parents were divorced. My dad is an alcoholic. There are many other things. Any suggestions would really be appreciated.
Thank you for your time.
ANSWER:
Since you seem determined to stop lying, there are things that you can do. The diagnoses that can frequently cause lying are the generalized anxiety disorder, AD(H)D, and the BPD - and usually in combination. The combination of impulsiveness with fear can cause people to respond quickly to any stress by lying. Getting the diagnoses medically treated can have a huge impact. Once the medications are working well you can work to change how you respond. My screening test could be of great help to you.
