QUESTION:
Dear Dr. Heller,
I am a 22 year old Canadian male who spent the year with gay obsession. Tons of
unwanted sexual thoughts all the time. I had major depression and OCD (obsessive
compulsive disorder). I had absolutely no sex drive for a year and was terrified. That is
over now and I went through some therapy to get this under control. My problem is this:
for some unexplainable reason I get aroused looking at feminine images only when it has
extremely feminine traits. For example, seeing a very attractive sexy woman does not cause
arousal. Seeing that woman with a ton of makeup on does. I saw a man doing drag dressed
extremely feminine with makeup and pink hair and I was aroused. I am NOT gay - that has
been established, and I have no sexual attraction to males whatsoever, but it takes such
ultra exaggerated feminine pictures to get me aroused.
This is my problem: I simply do not have that burning sensation when seeing an attractive
woman. I do not feel anything seeing a beautiful woman naked. I would like this to end
because most of last year I wanted to kill myself because of OCD. Is their anyway my
sexual drive to look at nude women and being aroused seeing them in lingerie or in sexual
ways will come back? This is very depressing. For years I used to get aroused seeing
women's breast, legs, butts and faces - now nothing. My psychiatrist wants to help me.
Because of my gay OCD the thoughts return and intrude. When aroused I also get unwanted
thoughts of male genitals on women. Do you know what kind of therapy could help me just
return to normal?
Please help, I am desperate! Without a sex therapist will these unwanted thoughts go away? Do you know anything about sexual obsessions or how to get rid of them?
ANSWER:
The first step is to medically treat any medically treatable diagnoses (http://www.BiologicalUnhappiness.com/screen.htm). Treating them
all is necessary.
You were likely hurt significantly as a child with sexual images or behavior. Counseling
is extremely important, and you undoubtedly will discover much during counseling you
won't like.
Remeron for PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) may be of benefit as well.
