QUESTION:
Dear Dr. Heller,
Hi, I am a 35 year old mother of two beautiful children. I have a wonderful and loving husband. Most of the time, everything is fine. There are times, however, that after having repeated myself 4-5 times in requesting things from my family, I go into a rage. I am so very upset. I yell. My heart races. My head hurts very badly. I get very fatigued. I have never wanted to hurt either my children nor husband. However, I can't seem to stop the rage, etc. Finally, after I do calm down and rest, I am sorry for the yelling, etc. For example, this comes after asking one of the kids to brush their hair or teeth (several times, only to find later that it hasn't been done). Then I have really bad feelings of guilt.
I took the screening test that you recommend. I found myself with 3 out of 4 marked in several of the areas.
I took Serzone for a while. At first, it seemed to help. It did cause weight gain. That I did not need. Later, it seemed to not help near as much as I first thought. Presently, I am on a weight loss program and have lost 36 pounds. These episodes of rage are not nearly as frequent as they once were, but I would like to not have them at all. I do not want to cause permanent damage to my kid's self-esteem. What is my problem in your opinion?
Thank you,
A mom who is concerned.
ANSWER:
While I can't diagnose you, it seems highly likely that you have both attention
deficit disorder and the BPD. AD(H)D causes impulsive aggressiveness, and so can the BPD -
which often leads to rages. AD(H)D and the BPD commonly occur together. Those with AD(H)D
tend to get overwhelmed easily and have low frustration tolerance. It is of course
possible you have only one or neither - there isn't enough information here for a
diagnosis.
I'd recommend you look at the
criteria for BPD
and for
AD(H)D. These are both medically treatable problems, and as you
suspect the rages are indeed hurting everyone in the family.
