QUESTION:

Dear Dr. Heller,

A friend who exhibits depression often – goes into hiding with himself for days. He has a problem with anger. He takes everything personally and explodes at people – rants and raves – loudly and expressively with his hands and arms. He is a large man, so he scares people – even though he is mostly verbal, no one knows when he might snap and become physical. I have tried to tell him that everyone is afraid to approach or talk to him or ask him anything, because they are afraid of his rage – even about very minor things. He has gotten worse over the past 5 years. I have tried to tell him this, but he does not see that he is verbally abusive and disrespectful to other human beings in how he speaks to them (yells at them). When he is quieter, calmed down, he will admit he has a problem but doesn’t know where to start to find the right help. He keeps procrastinating in going to get help – and always has an excuse – including that it is ‘everyone else’s fault’ that he reacts as he does. I keep telling him that he ‘over-reacts’ abnormally to things – in comparison to other humans. He ends up unhappy and depressed way too often and over too many things that are not that “big of a deal” . He has not been able to maintain a relationship, nor has he been in any long-term relationship, with any woman since he was in his early 20′s.

What can I send him to read? Where can I direct him? He is more likely to read and study before he will seek actual one-on-one counseling. Thanks.

 

ANSWER:

That’s what the covers of my book have been designed for. If the BPD is present – which seems likely – the cover of my first book “Life at the Border” can be printed from this website. The cover of “Biological Unhappiness” can also be printed up. The back cover shows many of these symptoms and can be found on the home page. The “Screening Test” will likely be of assistance as well. Most people with anger problems are suffering and would like for their suffering to end. That’s the purpose of my work.

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